whirlwind

It has been one of those days where all I can do is think. I think about this stupid test I have to take on Friday, about how I am dreading the next three days of working on the floor and about the next six weeks of talking to crazy people and the drugs we can give them to keep them "normal." I can't stop thinking about having to make a decision that will determine the direction of my life for at least the next 10 years. I can't figure out what scares me the most..failing or not trying. I think about where I was 5 years ago and where I will be in five years. I wonder about how much my life has changed and how much more my life will change in the next few years. I think about the decisions I have made and how they have shaped who I am today. And it all just confuses me. I feel as if every time I try to make a step to be more confident and more secure about who I am and what I want to do with my life, I get shot down from one direction or another. And just when I am about to get up, I get knocked back down. And it's all this big whirl-wind that does nothing more than make me dizzy and confused.