Request Fulfilled

I was asked last night to update my blog more often. So, here I am. Though, some days I have great epiphanies and want nothing more than to share them with the whole world, today is not one of those days.

In about half an hour away I will be attending a meeting about what my schedule is going to be like next year. It will be the first time when attending lectures and labs will be second to seeing and caring for patients. Kinda scary that in a few months I will put on my white coat and enter the hospital to participate in the actual care of sick patients. I don't think I have the mental capacity at this point in the night to even know how I feel about that.

Today, I also finished filling out an online application for the USMLE Step 1 Exam. It's like the SAT or MCAT. A big test that I will have to score well on and put as part of my application for Residencies. The problem I face now is that I have never applied to anything my entire life without a good GPA, so I have never had to worry about my standardized scores. Things are different now.

It was always my belief that standardized scores don't reflect our knowledge nor are they an indicator of your performance on a day to day basis. And I still believe that, but, now, I not-so-secretly hope that I do well on this exam, so that I can get a good Residency program and get good training.

They say that the first two years of medical school don't matter. But they matter to me. Apparently not enough to change my study habits, but enough to stress me out. Regardless, I am definately on the upswing of emotions about whether or not I will make a good doctor. It seems that the more that I practice asking questions and the more that I see signs and symptoms, the more that things are coming together. My biggest problem is that it is coming together much more slowly for me than for everyone else. But this is not my pity party (really, its not, I could do worse than this).