My heart

So in school we are learning about the heart and all the things that can go wrong with it and how we could potentially figure out how to make it better while at the same time being careful not to make any new problems. And that exact same philosophy is what I am attempting to apply to my own life and my own heart. I could list all the things that my heart not work properly. Then I could (potentially) outline how to make things better, but then there are the side effects to consider.

Anyways, I just found myself today, again, fairly distracted by the various boys not in my life. Saw both of them today. Only one acknowledged me (because I don't think the other saw me). And my corazoncito went a little crazy. So the one that talks to me, I want to stay away from me and the one I feel I need to talk to won't come near me (then again, that is probably for the best.) Point being....I sometimes hate my heart, and I wish I could fix it without making it worse, but I just don't know if I can (or if I know a healthy way to fix). Pain sucks.

By the way, loved WICKED!! Saw it last night and decided I am only evil because that is how people see me sometimes. I turn against those that have hurt me because I have tried to be true to myself, and how can that be evil? Regardless, life hurts and I am just going to havve to accept that. Hopefully I can have a my own happy ending someday!!