Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

I watch too much TV and this is one of my favorite shows. [Sure is better than the original idea of the show were they took women (and men) and tons of plastic surgery.] I sometimes don't watch it because I don't think that I have ever been able to watch this show and not cry my eyes out. It is amazing to me how people can come together and really change one family's life. People could make arguments about how many more people could be helped if the resources were redistributed, but none of that matters. People are getting second chances; there is good in the world.

There are all sorts of people and gestures: little things people and big gesture people. The big gesture almost always gets all the attention. The little things take a lot more time and thought, but they are just as fabulous. Because changing one life, is still changing one life. If you have the opportunity to change more, then more power to you. But don't judge yourself for not being able to save the world.

What gets me is how we could think that we are insignificant in this world. Everyone needs someone. Some are meant to change the people around them and others are destined to touch the lives of people they will never know. Some will get to hear thank you and others may seemingly go unnoticed. Attention and thanks should never be motivation to do something. "Not enough" should never be and excuse to not do something.

Because every good thing done, no matter how big or small, once or often, is still a choice to share. We can't be the judges of what will change a person's life. Guess what I'm trying to say is that by simply being considerate, on any given day, could be the day you touch someone's life in a way that is memorable. It's good to go out of your way to do good; but it's just as good to do the little things.

looking into the future

those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly - jfk

i was catching up on my tv watching, instead of studying [not because i have these incredible need to set my self up for failure, but because it's a hobby i enjoy, really], and i ran across this quote. and of course i did the thing that i was avoiding to do, i started thinking.

i am afraid to fail. so afraid. fear is the only word i can come up with that accurately describes the chest tightness, hyperventilation, head/heart pounding, sweating, and blurry vision that overcomes me every time that i think about the future. and like many others before me and many others that will come, i am afraid of making a mistake, a wrong choice.

i don't understand why it feels like this is the most important decision ever. i've just never really felt this way before, you know, feeling the looming, impending, lurking doom. it feels like my entire life depends on this choice. this is the big fork in the road, the major decision, the one that will shape my life. the one where i can't turn back. but that's not entirely true. people change careers all the time. careers are ever-evolving, like the old cliche, you are never too old to learn something new. so then, what's the big deal? well, if i knew that, i wouldn't be here.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that my chance of failing miserably is high, really really high. but i have nothing more to lose, except my dream. and if i fail, at least i tried, and will only kick myself in the butt for not trying sooner (that i can't change).

now if i could just figure out exactly how much that was worth to me (in actual dollars) b/c that's the next decision to make.